Past & future, Guilt & Worry.

“You cannot find yourself in the past or the future, the only place you can find yourself is the now.”

– Eckhard Tolle

Worry and guilt are emotions that keep us from being present. Guilt means you use the present moment being immobilised as a result of past behaviour, while worry keeps you immobilised about something in the future, something over which you have no control.

It not only keeps you immobilised, but it actually intensifies the chances that you will repeat the unwanted behaviour.

Guilt and Worry are perceptions that there are more downsides to a situation than upsides. 

The following are some reasons people choose Guilt: 

  • it is an avoidance technique, you shift responsibility for what you are now, to what you were in the past;
  • to avoid the hard work of improving yourself;
  • if you feel guilty enough you will be exonerated for having being “bad”;
  • it can be a means of returning to the safety of childhood; 
  • a way of transferring responsibility for your behaviour;
  • to win the approval of others; 
  • to win pity from others. 

How to eliminate Guilt:

  • Determine how your actions or inactions  served you;
  • Determine how your actions or inactions served others; 
  • Begin to accept these things about yourself that you or others disliked;
  • Determine your values

Links:
Why you need to know your values
Value Determination

The following are some reasons people choose to Worry: 

  • to avoid having to take risks;
  • to be considered a “caring person”;
  • as a justification for self-defeating behaviour;
  • to keep you from living. 

How to eliminate Worry:

  • Ask yourself if anything will change as a result of worrying? ;
  • What’s the worst thing that could happen and what is the likelihood of it happening?
  • Ask yourself what are the benefits or upsides to yourself & others of the “bad” situation that you are worried about;
  • Begin to face your fears with productive thoughts & behaviours. 

Ultimately Guilt and Worry cause dis-ease that eventually causes disease. 

Do not confuse Guilt with learning from the past and also do not confuse Worry with planning for the future. You only worry about things in the future if you haven’t planned properly. 

“What does the voice of fear whisper to you?
Fear speaks to you in logic and reason.
It assumes the language of love itself.
Fear tells you I want to make you safe.
Love says you are safe.
Fear says give me symbols, give me frozen images, give me something I can rely on.
Loving truth says only give me this moment.”

– Emmanuel

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